liebster award

sweetheart kate has nominated me for the liebster award so i'm going to list 11 facts about me then answer her 11 questions :-)

1. i absolutely love amazon and almost everything i buy off there is used only because it's cheaper lol

2. i'm so shy most of the time and it really bugs me because sometimes it makes me come off as uninterested/bored/stupid/ungrateful :-(

3. it's taken 15 years of existing as i am for me to even begin to properly value myself and i'm glad i've gotten here

4. i've only ever been able to envision myself as a writer of some sort, but as 'adulthood' nears i have no idea what i'm going to do with myself. work seems scary, i just want to learn (formally and not) for my whole life, basically anywhere but in a workplace

5. i'd like to be vegetarian someday

6. while i find it hard to trust other people i think i'm quite trustworthy

7. i was born on the anniversary of the day my nana's uncle gained independence for uganda :-) hashtag proud

8. i think and feel a lot and a lot and a lot

9. i'm not the greatest at keeping up friendships. i could love someone with my whole heart and still manage to not be able to hold our friendship together.

10. drums are one of my favourite instruments and it would be nice to learn to play them some day

11. i've been thinking about being a housewife when i'm older. not the kind who stays home all the time, but someone who has kids and spends a lot of time just exploring the world and always doing stuff.

what song is stuck in your head right now?

well i'm listening to this gorgeymorgeous song right now so...

best day of your life?

to simplify this question for myself i'll choose the best day of this year lol. it was my aunty's wedding in the summer holiday. :-) or maybe even the night before. me and my cousins stayed up till like 2 or 3am dancing (ok it was mainly me lmao) to house music from the hotel radio after coming back from the swimming pool and eating kfc. it was just perfect. the next day we got told off for being really loud, apparently other people in the hotel had complained lmao. we didn't care at all because we just had the best time being stupid. one of my cousins was high at one point and it was so hilarious. we kept throwing pillows at her and she'd fall, not knowing what had hit her. i think that's when i felt most invincible to be honest. like sam in perks when they drive under that tunnel at night. i love my cousins so much. :-) this year has been speckled with gorgeous times i've had with my family.

moi at the front on my aunty's wedding day and one of my cousins right behind me

coloured christmas lights or plain ones?

plain and bright blue lights :-)

be truthful - does blogging ever feel like a chore?

yes, occasionally. it feels like a chore when i'm not blogging for myself or because i really want to.

talk about your best friend.

okay. well she's a beautiful girl, born one day before me. i've known her since reception. we were in the same class until year 4 when she left because she moved houses. we used to walk around the playground, arm in arm, telling each other our secrets and gossiping. we fell out so often though, up until we were like 12 lol. when she left we hardly ever spoke or saw each other for a couple of years, then in the summer of year 6 we found out we would be going to the same secondary school! it was the weirdest thing ever and i think that was the universe saying for fucks sake you two get over yourselves and accept that you're made for each other. not that we did though because i didn't talk to her again until year 8 when we were in the same lessons lol. now we're really close and really similar, though not on the surface. i don't think i could get through secondary school without her and on days when she's not in i genuinely do not know what to do with myself. i love her to bits though i could never ever say it to her because those words physically struggle to leave my mouth. i think she knows though.

the person you've ever felt the most butterflies for?

no details about the person shall be disclosed as they are strictly confidential to my cousin and myself.

do you maintain your cuticles?

i had to think for a second what cuticles even are lmao. i think that answers the question sufficiently.

your favourite magazine to read?

rookie, duh.

pitch an idea for a reality tv show right now.

27 days in the life of abondance ;-)

do you have any allergies?

no. i'm extremely fussy though. the other day my mum said my brother has a 'more advanced palate' than me -.-

last text message you received?

my aunty saying: hiya my beauty i was in portugal sorry about the delay in replying but that was nice of u to think about me i miss you speak to you soon. well the technical last was t-mobile telling me i have no credit left but that's irrelevant lol.

i feel productive now i've written this :-)

today

why is this (tumblr) picture so painful? :-( it's beautiful and when i first saw it my heart ached a little bit.

*

i've just been watching beyonce talk about her new album and i've seen a couple of the videos. i love this woman so much and and have IMMENSE respect for her like it's immeasurable, she AMAZES me beyond BELIEF. beyonce is everything and she really really really inspires me. i can imagine a future world where she and michael jackson are in school textbooks. i want to talk to people about beyonce. she has so much power and influence right now and i'm so proud that she's using it positively and promoting what the world needs: art, creativity, personal freedom, love. she's AMAZING.

*

i went to work with my mum today for the first time and i had a good day. we went to pizza hut for lunch and had a buffet and i had hot chocolate. when i got home i peeled potatoes and a book of a play i ordered from amazon came - it's called a raisin in the sun, written by lorraine hansberry. i'm going to drink hot chocolate again now. :-)

we are nothing

this is everything

ORLAN

i am amazed

autumn statement

i was just watching the autumn statement on the bbc parliament channel. it's like a review on economic stuff and it was made by the chancellor, george osbourne. i didn't change the channel because he was shouting about interesting stuff: benefits, youth unemployment, education, families etc. i tried to listen to what he was saying, but it was hard because all the mps do is shout! even when someone else is talking! the disrespect! i was amused and sort of disgusted. it sounded like a primary school playground and all these men in suits were going red in the face and pointing their fingers and laughing at statements they didn't agree with. if those politicians can't even respect people on the same level as them, then how would they treat someone of 'lesser status'?
the speaker at one point said: i think what members on both sides of the house will wish to consider, is how the conduct is regarded by the public that we're here to represent. i don't think they did. and i don't really like that i'm represented by a bunch of loud angry men who don't look or sound or even remotely think like me. it's quite baffling.

monday moodboard

rodarte

i was talking with my mum the other day about how i was thinking about shaving my hair and she said it might be cool if i died it like red or purple and i said maybe electric blue would be nice and i might do it in the summer if i can be bothered i think it will be nice. :-)

just thinking...

i just saw a tweet saying 'but if they was muslim or black, this would of been across every single news channel & newspaper smh'. i think that's kind of true. i don't know why the media demonises some groups of people. is it to disempower them because their influence/power has been recognised? is it to distract the masses while our leaders try to 'secretly' destroy the very same people being portrayed negatively everywhere?







it's frustrating and scary that we don't really have control over what we're fed, and i don't know whether to always believe what i see on the news so i try to be 'objective' lol. i know things aren't as censored here as in other countries - like in north korea recently some guy was edited out of all official videos and stuff - but nothing seems to be done very openly. i don't know if i'm overthinking but you can never know everything and i don't know why sometimes news is presented like you can. maybe i'm just being critical because i don't like seeing the same kind of stuff on the news sometimes then switching from channel to channel only to find the same stories being covered.
i also don't like feeling like i'm not making sense when i have something important to say. -.-
anyway here's a quote i read and liked: "start sensitising we the public on the kind of issues that will increase our alertness as civil society and you will see a big difference." - here 

plastic paintings

"i collect rubbish and create something beautiful from it. i collect something that has no value and give it new life. that's what we can do with ourselves and our lives." - mbongeni buthelezi

mbongeni buthelezi is an extremely creative south african artist. his paintings are cut up pieces of waste plastic glued onto a canvas. sometimes they're colourful, sometimes they're not. they're always beautiful though. i was looking at some on google images and they're so gorgeous, they always look different - like a print or a collage or a mosaic. buthelezi got art lessons from another artist in exchange for bread and tea when he was young, how cool. i want to be taught a skill without having to pay for it in actual real money.

my favourite pieces of buthelezi's work are the ones depicting children, especially this one of the girl hula hooping. the fragmented aura around her reminds me of hula hooping really fast on the school playground; feeling so happy and invincible within my own force field. :-)

"buthelezi is not only aware of the environmental tribulations and the physical deterioration of the townships in south africa, but also of the communal and political destitution and defect of opportunities and choices within the country. his goal is to facilitate and communicate hope in the new age through his art pieces." - article

monday moodboard

audrey hepburn

samuel l jackson

rabari women

alice walker

madiba

why does 'oldness' have so many negative connotations? why do so many people want to avoid and hide it?
'old' is beautiful and regal and wise.